SAFETY MEASURES WHILE YOU'RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
If you are living with the person who is battering you, here are some things you can do to increase your family's safety. Trust our intuition and do whatever is necessary to protect your family.
1. Memorize important phone numbers. Numbers of friends and relatives whom you can call in an emergency. Do not rely on your cellular phone for these as he may steal or break the phone. If your children are old enough, teach them important phone numbers, including when and how to dial 911.
2. Keep this list in a safe place. A place where your batterer won’t find it, but where you can get it when you need to review it.
3. Open your own bank account.
4. Stay in touch with friends. Get to know your neighbors. Resist any temptations to cut yourself off from people - even if you feel like you just want to be left alone.
5. Make an escape plan and know it by heart.
*Where will you go?
*How will you get there?
*When is the best time to take children with you?
*Who can assist you?
*Do you need a code word so you and the children can leave without saying anything in front of him?
6. Leave a set of car keys, extra money, a change of clothes and copies of the following documents, with a trusted friend or relative:
*Your family’s birth certificates, social security cards, and marriage certificate
*Your children’s school and medical records
*Bank book, checks
*Welfare identification
*Passports or green cards
*Lease agreements or mortgage payment books
*Insurance papers
*Important addresses, telephone/cell numbers, and email addresses
*Any other important documents
7. Use a safer computer. Try to use a safer computer when you look for help, a new place to live, etc. It may be safest to use a computer at a public library, community center, or Internet café.
8. Create a new email account. If you suspect that anyone abusive can access your email, consider creating an additional email account on a safer computer. Look for free web-based email accounts, and do not provide detailed information about yourself.
9. Check your cell phone settings. If you are using a cell phone provided by the abusive person, consider turning it off when not in use. Also many phones let you lock the keys so a phone won’t automatically answer or call if it is bumped. When on, check the phone settings; if your phone has an optional location service, you may want to switch the location feature off/on via phone settings or by turning your phone on and off.
SAFETY AFTER YOU HAVE LEFT THE RELATIONSHIP
Once you no longer live with the batterer, here are some things you cand to to enhanc eyour family's safety.
1. Consider security features such as:
*Changing locks
*Having a cellular phone and/or change the number
*Outside lights
*Change land line phone number
*Caller ID and block your phone number
*Change your email address
*Remove your addresses from driver license data base or state ID data base
*Alarm system
*Check with your local battered women’s program for assistance
2. Obtain a restraining order. Keep it near you at all times, and make sure day care, school, and work have copies to show the police.
3. Inform neighbors that your former partner is not welcome on the premises. Ask them to call the police if they see that person loitering about your property or watching your home.
4. Inform school officials and the people who care for your children who do not have permission to pick them up.
5. Let your supervisor and co-workers know about the situation. Ask them to warn you if they observe your partner at your place of work.
6. Avoid the stores, banks, and businesses you used when you were living with the batterer.
7. Change passwords and pin numbers. Some abusers use victim’s mail and other accounts to impersonate and cause harm. Change passwords and pin numbers quickly and frequently. Think about any password protected accounts-online banking, voicemail, etc.
8. Ask about your records data. Many court systems and government agencies are publishing records to the Internet. Ask agencies how they protect or publish your records and request that court, government, post office and others seal or restrict access to your files to protect your safety.
9. Get a private mailbox and don’t give out your real address. When asked by businesses, doctors, and others for your address, have a private mailbox address or safer address to give them. Try to keep your true residential address out of national databases.
10. Search for your name on the Internet. Major search engines such as “Google” or “Yahoo” may have links to your contact information. Search for your name in quotations marks: “Full Name.” Check phone directory pages because enlisted numbers might be listed if you have given the number to anyone.
11. Get involved. Join support groups. Do whatever it takes to form a supportive network that will be there when you need it.
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